Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

Nov 25, 2024

I’m currently racking my head trying to figure out the best way to start this letter. At this point, it feels like I never know how to begin writing to you. If I could give you a pass into my brain, you’d be shocked at the great mess that goes on in there.

My brain feels like an overstimulated region—always wanting me to shout, scream, or run up the walls of a story building. That’s the best analogy I can give to describe what’s constantly happening in my head. It’s not a good space to be in, and I often wonder if it has to do with living with bipolar disorder.

But the story of my messy brain also paints a picture of how God can make something so beautiful out of a seemingly chaotic situation. Judging by the responses I received from my first letter, I’d say God is using what feels like a mess in my head to heal the hearts of many.

And that brings me to the subject of today’s letter…

At the beginning of this month, my local church—Circle Church Global—held a special meeting in Ibadan called Glory Tour. Guess who my pastor asked to lead the volunteers' team?

Yes, the girl with the messy brain, Shindara.

If you’d asked me at the start of October (before my pastor reached out to me to lead this amazing team) if I could take on such a role, I would’ve said:

“I CAN’T! FIND SOMEONE ELSE. I’M NOT CAPABLE.”

But in hindsight, did I lead the team? Yes.

Was I scared? Yes.

Did I lead the team despite the fear? Absolutely.

Message from my Pastor after Glory Tour

This made me reflect on how many opportunities I’ve missed out on because of fear and a lack of belief in the gifts God has placed in my life.

I love sharing personal stories, so permit me to share one more with you. Deal?

(You’ve already read this far, so you might as well keep going! 😂)

I currently live with two friends, and we use a gas stove to cook. You know the type that requires lighting a match to get the fire going? Exactly—that kind.

Now, if you know me well, you’ll know I don’t know how to do these things. Lighting a match has always scared me; I’m terrified it’ll hurt me. I’m a soft babe, and I will ALWAYS pay for comfort.

So every time I wanted to cook my terrible noodles, I’d call Vanessa or Ope to help me light the match.

But this weekend, they both left, and I was home alone. Yesterday morning, I woke up craving fried eggs and bread.

In case you don’t know how to make fried eggs, welcome to Shindara’s Culinary School.

Lesson one: You need hot oil to fry an egg. (You’re welcome—what are community members for?)

For me to fry that egg, I needed to light the match. And guess what? I successfully lit it!

Yes, me. The same me who used to call Vanessa to help with a simple task.

The egg I fried💀

In that moment, this thought crossed my mind, and I knew I had to share it with you today:

“There’s no way to know what you can do unless you step into the position to try.”

Who told you that you won’t succeed at that job when you haven’t even tried?

Who told you you’ll fail that exam when you haven’t taken it?

For my single pringles, who told you that person will reject you when you haven’t made the move?

In Pastey’s words:

“I dey preach ooo! Preachooo!”😂

Okay, let’s get serious now.

To Shindara,

If you hadn’t written your first newsletter, how would you have known that people actually love your writing?

What if I had let the fear of “people won’t accept this Shindara” stop me from starting this community?

Guess what?

We’d never know because I STARTED🎉

As this new week begins, I want you to make a conscious decision: Don’t let fear hold you back.

Take that job.

I don’t know why I keep mentioning job, but since I have the Spirit of God in me, I believe this is a word for someone reading this:

TAKE THAT JOB.

Consider this your confirmation.

Phew.

I always say I don’t know how to start writing to you, but I somehow end up writing a whole book. I guess you can’t complain—this is what you signed up for, right?

I’ll leave you with this verse: